Kakorrhaphiophobia

What is fear? But really, how is it that a concept we created in our minds can intimidate every thought we have? Maybe we let some trauma, tale of pain, or pure worry dictate every step we take. I may be off here, but isn't fear merely a figment of our imaginations? Think about it, the things you fear most are not tangible, but those things that can inflict far greater pain. One of failure, rejection or even success.

After all, there is nothing to fear because these issues are not external but entirely created by you...which means you have the power to stop these fears from manifesting. The whole idea is to become comfortable with the fact that at times you will fail, be rejected, and even succeed. If you know it is going to happen then you can already begin to bounce back. YOU and only you have this power! Don't be afraid. 

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.

~Nelson Mandela

-Complicated Wreck

Part One

Now,  I am normally one of those people who will spend about 2 hours in the gym trying to wreck my body so that I feel dignified when I leave. But a very close friend of mine really put into perspective what kind of damage I was doing to my body. I may not have an eating disorder anymore, but that disorder has definitely transformed into excessive exercise. And let me tell you its no fun "working hard" and seeing absolutely no results...sure I feel better, but no one else can appreciate the effort I have put in. Its incredibly disheartening and not to mention, the "failure" mentality drifts into the rest of my life.

What I really want is to look healthy and above all see myself in a healthy way! The sheer fact that I am a woman puts me at a disadvantage. So my goal for the rest of this week is to say, when I look into a mirror,  a part of my body I love. I guess nail beds wont count anymore.

Lastly, over the next few weeks I will do the unimaginable - post pictures of my body the way it currently looks so that we can track my process. Wish me luck.

- A girl you probably know

Purpose

I am going to be honest, I have never been a blogger or writer of any type. But I have decided its time to challenge myself to keep a public record of my progress. Most of this blog will consist of fit progress pictures, quotes, some heart-to-hearts, and occasional bitching. Any help I can get to reach my goal of a hot-ass physique or even just support will be much appreciated! 

 "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

- The Girl Upstairs